Oh... And I'm done with pain medication as well. Pray!
I feel like in order to be successful without medication I am going to have to manage the other part of my health: my weight.
Stuff scressful, bruh!
I started a food journal and it's kind of awesome. But I end up letting myself down because I see how I make healthy choices and then thirty minutes later I make unhealthy choices. Eh.
I'm going to get it together. I have to get it together because my life depends on it. Did you know that my life expectancy is significantly shorter than the average persons? So, I want to enjoy what life I do have and in order to enjoy it I have be as healthy as possible.
I also need to increase my productivity. My mind sets a super long list of things that I need to accomplish but my body (and my laziness) doesn't allow me to. And I honestly do need to complete a lot of things everyday but maybe I should do three things per day. It's better than nothing.
I find myself frustrated because I see myself in a completely different place by December but it doesn't seem possible. I know, I know... I just blogged about this.
Since I fell into this recent sickness, I've felt so alone. I haven't been able to attend church. I don't work. I don't go to school. So it's been me (and my immediate family). It's rather frustrating because I love being around people. I sometimes allow myself to become bitter because I feel like if I was hospitalized then people would care BUT I know that isn't the case because I've been hospitalized before and none of the saints showed up (only the sinners). Smh. Whatever.
I've got to get a better attitude about that. I really do. It makes me not want to deal with people while I'm healthy. Like, why are you smiling in my face? Why are you saying hello? Where have you been? Don't ask me about my health now because you clearly didn't care.
Yeah, I'll work on it. I need to work on how I feel about people and friendship in general. I don't feel like I have a best friend. Like, someone who I can do everything with. Like, someone who would pick me with no hesitation to go on a cruise they won. (And of course, I would do the same). I thought I had a friend like that but yeah, time and distance tells everything. I have best friends who have other best friends but not just my best friend. Does that make sense?
Maybe I will create a list of things that I'm looking for in my friends. Loyalty would be a big one. Maybe I'm just pmsing and sill feel differently next week.
Anyways,
Talk to you later,
Brie
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