04.20.2014

I kept looking at the weather app on my phone to check and see if it would be warm and sunny on Easter. It said the high would be in the 70s. I was super excited BUT it was raining. The current temperature was in the low 60s, it was cloudy and a consistent flow of water poured out from the skies. I looked over to my mommy and said "I don't see how it's going to be sunny tomorrow, all I see is rain." 

Well saints, and sinners alike, Easter Sunday had beautiful weather. I couldn't see it on Saturday though. I was too consumed with my present circumstances. Even though the weather channel said that it was going to be sunny, I didn't believe it. All I saw was rain and clouds. 

How many of us do that when it comes to our lives? God will whisper a promise into our soul and we are too busy looking at our current trial to believe Him. Even though we know that God is the root of honesty, even though we know that God can never lie, even though we know that God has pulled us and our brothers and sisters through trials before, we look at our current circumstances and become defeated. 

I've seen God heal people. He has brought my mother back from her death bed (twice). He has even healed me. I complain sometimes (mostly in my head or on my blog) about my health but God has had me this whole time. 

I lost something super important to me when I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. My whole world was flipped. I became super depressed because I was too sick to fight for what and who I wanted. Hindsight 20/20 I thank God for bringing me away from those people and those situations. It still hurts sometimes but I trust God. 

It's amazing how God can work. He has saved me from a horrible cancer before I even knew it existed.  At the time, I had been diagnosed with Crohn's for less than six months but since my Crohn's was refractory, my doctor decided that I needed surgery. My mommy was against it. Her reasoning was that the doctors say once you have surgery for Crohn's, you'll have to have more than one. Anyways, that surgery allowed my doctor to find a carcinoid tumor that was sitting on my lymph nodes. The Crohn's wasn't even that bad. Thankfully, my doctor removed the tumor before it spread. He told us that if we would have waited any longer then I would have been facing a terminal case of cancer. Can we say, look at God? 

I lost a lot that year in 2011.  But God saved my life. I couldn't see why God would allow all of my dreams to fall apart. But because of those events, because of the stress, because of the chain reaction, because of the prayers of my loved ones and mostly because of God, I'm still alive. 

I couldn't see it in April of 2011, even though people told me it would get better.  But now, in April 2014, I look back and see how God was working it out.