02.03.2014

Sorry y'all... My goal is to post more often than I do but life happens.

Yikes!

So, I have not been feeling the greatest lately.  It's been pretty bad BUT it hasn't been as bad as it could be.  :)

I have this thing that I do when I don't feel well.  I push people away from me... Which is WEIRD because when I feel well, I'm like a little socialite.  So this past time I started pushing someone who is REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT to me away.  :( Le Sigh.  I know...

Also, I began to be a little snarky with the people around me.  Like, I just felt like people weren't understanding that I was in pain.  I was cooking dinner, attempting to clean, trying to get schoolwork done, etc.  I felt so alone.  So I lashed out...

Then, I wasn't focused on God.  I began to focus on my current circumstances instead of God.  Bad move, Brittanie-Claire!

A few passages came to my mind during this mini battle with my flesh...

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 

16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 

Revelation 21:4

4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Whew, those two passages wrecked my little heart and my flesh too!!! Bahahaha!  I was like I'm so focused on this TEMPORARY pain that I am losing sight of what my Daddy is preparing for me.  In my hometown, New Jerusalem, I'm promised NO PAIN for eternity!  Say what?  My Daddy be looking out!  And y'all as I type this I am still in pain...  Ehhh... But I've decided to look past this pain and focus on my Daddy.  

Now this last scripture TORE ME UP... I had to apologize to that very important person once I read it.  I cannot lie, my pride took a hit.  Like, do I really have to apologize?  lol.  I did though!

John 19:26-27

26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother,“Woman, behold, your son!” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

Let me explain why this verse wrecked me.  At this point in the book of John, our Savior is being crucified for our sins.  He has been beaten, He has been mocked, He is hanging on a cross... all for something He didn't even do.  In the midst of all of this that He has going on, He looks out to His mother and makes sure she is okay.  Like, what?  Our Savior is the epitome of unselfish.  I'm in a little bit of pain compared to what He is going through and I'm lashing out like I'm a cornered dog who hasn't ate in weeks.  He is on the cross for being the perfect Son of God and is looking out. Whew... If my desire is to be more like Christ then I still need to spread love in the MIDST OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES. Challenge accepted.  :) 

Don't get too churchy on me for this picture but it really reminds me of Mr. Chow from Hangover... I have to ask myself when I'm going through this little bit of pain...

Love y'all and have an awesome day!